STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI

The wait is over, STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI is finally here! Like a lot of people I've been waiting for this film since audiences were left hanging at the end of THE FORCE AWAKENS.

Episode VII made me happy to be a Star Wars fan again. Until the announcement of a new trilogy with the original cast, I was ready to retire the franchise. I will always continue to watch Star Wars, but I just got tired of all the pop culture. Quickly I was bored of talking anything Star Wars. Sick of friends telling me what video game was canon and what wasn't.

Long story short, THE FORCE AWAKENS changed all that. I immediately fell in love with the film! The character Rey became my new favorite Star Wars character. In fact, she might be my favorite character in the franchise period! I couldn't wait to find out the reveal of who her parents are in THE LAST JEDI!

Supreme Leader Snoke became my new favorite villain in Star Wars. I absolutely positively could not wait to find out that his true identity was that of Sith Lord Darth Plagueis! I mean who else could it possibly be?

And last but not least THE LAST JEDI was going to be nothing short of amazing because Luke Skywalker was going to heed the call of the Resistance and bring all the lightsabers and lay down a can of whoop ass to his nephew Ben Solo, for killing Han Solo!

Yeah, THE LAST JEDI is going to be awesome!

Well, none of that came to be so the film is terrible and Disney should remove it from canon!

Just kidding,

Now that I have my sarcastic backlash to the backlash out of the way, here's what I really thought about STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI.

My first viewing was not how I expected things to go? I sort of had mixed feelings about the movie after my first viewing. Like a lot of people my (preconceived) expectations were swept out from under me. I was a tad upset but once the end credits rolled I respected the directors vision.

When I got home a friend called me and we we're both shocked by what we saw. I was on the fence, and my friend hated it. Our conversation convinced me that I needed to see it again. Does STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI actually suck? I didn't think so, but had to make sure.

While waiting for my 8:20am showing I browsed the web and discovered all the fan backlash. Some of the opinions were insane!

After my second viewing I appreciated the film a whole lot more and understood the choices director Rian Johnson made.

His bold storytelling made me realize that fan theories are fun but not necessarily smart (or original) ideas. And if you've been following any of the "fan" backlash, then you should know that fan theories are a lot like assholes, everybody's got one.

The structure of THE LAST JEDI is similar to THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, but on a surface level. Both films start out with the protaginosts fleeing the antagonists. The First Order is pursuing the Resistance who are low on fuel trying to find a new base. Finn is sent on a mission to help keep The First Order from tracking the Resistance. And Rey finds Luke Skywalker to bring him back from self exile to fight the First Order and become savoir of the galaxy once again.

That's the best description I can give without spoilers. If you haven't seen the film I highly recommend seeing it. Stop reading and go to the theater and have a great time. Come back and read the rest after you've seen the film. Spoilers ahead!

Spoilers!!!

The most jarring moment that might have "fans" in a uproar is Luke tossing his fathers' Lightsaber over his shoulder. I'll admit, it pissed me off at first. But once we learn more about this "new" Luke Skywalker the scene makes sense. Think of it as a Jedi unlearning what they have learned. Or the way I like to look at it is that are "fans" really expecting to see Luke take on the First Order single handily? It'd be cool for awhile but over time become the new Duel Of The Fates scene from THE PHANTOM MENACE, cool but devoid of any substance or logic.

Another thing "fans" are hating on is basically everything to do with the Canto Bight sub plot. Fine, I won't argue; however, it is nothing like the Prequels or the Dax diner scene. The stuff on Canto Bight does drag down the pace of the film but I admire it's weirdness. It fits in a odd way, but that's just my opinion. It is unfortunate that the Codebreaker couldn't have been Lando Calrissian? That would have been awesome!

Now for the one that shocked me! Rey and her parents being Junkers who sold their daughter for drinking money. Damn it! I really wanted her to be a granddaughter of Obi-Wan. But at the end of the day that wish fulfillment would be too easy. At the end of the day it's a whole lot cooler knowing that in the most popular far away galaxy, anybody can be a Jedi!

And as for the death of Supreme Leader Snoke, sorry suckers! It doesn't matter who he was because he was probably the weakest Star Wars character to begin with? People complained about how similar FORCE AWAKENS was to A NEW HOPE, and the Starkiller Base was just another Death Star, but two Emperors is fine? Give me a break.

At the end of the day STAR WARS THE LAST JEDI is just a movie, if you like it great, if you didn't that's fine too. But this whole backlash thing is getting ridiculous. I suspect one or two things: One, it's just a bunch of narcissistic YouTubers trying to get "likes" and "subscribers"? And two, it's a bunch of narcissistic "fans" hating on Disney?

Looking at the big picture fans of Star Wars and genre films should be glad that Rian Johnson made a Star Wars film that has something to say besides Jedi fighting with lightsabers.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Disappointments 0f 2017

2017 was a great year for movies. Lots a good releases, which surprised me because I was expecting the year to be mediocre for film. I was wrong! But with the good there always comes the bad. And let me tell you, there were some pretty bad ones. This list is comprised of disappointments and not a "Worst" list.

I'd love to have one of those for you but time is a factor and also I'm not a critic by profession. I'm sure THE EMOJI MOVIE is just as atrocious as it sounds, but cinematic cancers like that don't appear on the list because I try to avoid garbage like that as much as I can.

Before I get to the list here are some dishonorable mentions:

THE GREAT WALL

HITMAN'S BODYGUARD

GHOST IN THE SHELL

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD

BRIGHT

Here we go... my Disappointments Of 2017:

DEATH NOTE

Being a huge fan of Adam Wingard I've been kinda let down by his last two films? My problem with DEATH NOTE isn't it's deviation from the source material or the whitewashing of characters, my problem is that the movie is dull. With the film being a Netflix Original I gave this movie 3 watches hoping to appreciate Wingard's vision. The more I watched the more problems I found. I just hope GODZILLA VS. KONG is good because if not, that's strike three for the director.

THE MUMMY

I should have known better with this one, that first teaser trailer is still hilarious! But alas, I am a sucker when it comes to Universal Monsters. I must give credit to the studio for trying to update the classic characters for a younger generation. The first mistake I really believe is casting Tom Cruise. I like the guy but this has miscast written all over it. The second and probably major problem with the film is doubling down of the action adventure in a horror film. The reason that such a failure is so high on my list is because I could see myself rewatching this as a lesson on what not to do.

If Universal really wants to give hip new life to its classic Monsters, then they just need to remake THE MONSTER SQUAD.

THE DARK TOWER

Stephen King fans has a good 2017, with the exception of this abomination. THE DARK TOWER is a 95 minute lesson in how not to adapt a novel into a movie. If this film came out 20 - 30 years ago, it might have been passable for an adaptation? But because of the LORD OF THE RINGS films and Cinematic Universes, the old ways are unacceptable now. I really feel sorry for all the fans of the source material, maybe the television show is gonna be awesome? At least IT (2017) and GERALD'S GAME were both amazing!

POWER RANGERS

Had zero desire to see this when it came out but a friend of mine herald it as his favorite film of the year (as of March)? Then some fans of the original television series liked the movie and thought it did the brand justice. Once the movie hit Redbox I gave it a watch, and thought the movie was pretty terrible. Two thoughts cross my mind when it comes to POWER RANGERS: fans should aim higher and not every franchise needs to be a Cinematic Universe.

I have no right to take someone's childhood enjoyment away from them, but I'm sorry 90's kids The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers weren't as cool as you thought they were. And just because cinematic universes are the thing to do with franchises these days, doesn't mean it's always a good idea. The fact that POWER RANGERS is all set up for the next film, where the characters will actually be Power Rangers is the biggest set back for the movie.

BAYWATCH

This "comedy" had one job, to be a funny R-rated raunchy beach life comedy about lifeguards, and it failed. What audiences got instead was a half-hearted knock off of 21 JUMP STREET.

JIGSAW

For the first 15 minutes of JIGSAW I was thinking the movie was going to be a fresh take on the "popular" horror series? I was wrong. The movie is a prequel to one of the sequels, or that's what I gathered from the boredom. At least the movie was better than SAW VII, which isn't saying much.

LITTLE EVIL

Comedies really shouldn't be on lists like these because humor can be so subjective. But when you have a movie like LITTLE EVIL you can't help but add it to the list.

I was pumped to hear that the co-writer and director of TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL has a new movie coming out. This year I actually got to watch TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL on the big screen, and the very same week watch LITTLE EVIL on Netflix. I have no idea what happened but LITTLE EVIL is the most unfunny thing I've watched in a long time, a long time. None of the jokes were working for me and neither was premise, a spoof of THE OMEN.

RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER

A bunch of you are thinking it's a no-brainer for this movie to be on this list. Truthfully I'm sad about it because I enjoy some of these films for their exploitation qualities, but THE FINAL CHAPTER is terrible. The action and editing in this movie is some of the worst I've ever sat through? This is something I don't understand because Paul W.S. Anderson can (and has) directed action very well. My only guess it that they didn't have the budget to shoot action scenes proper, which explains the epileptic seizure style of editing?

KILLING GUNTHER

To quote a good friend of mine I can sum up this piece of crap with two words, "the cringe".

KILLING GUNTHER is a comedy, so again is it fair for me to put it on the list? I'm sure somebody finds the movie funny, I'm just not a fan of 92 minute Funny Or Die sketches. Arnold Schwarzenegger's appearance in the last 15 minutes could have saved the movie, but it was too little to late.

GEOSTORM

Here we are, the bottom of the barrel of my list. GEOSTORM, the disaster movie where nothing exciting happens. Sometimes there can be enjoyment from a bad movie, but in my opinion there is nothing worse than a boring movie. Boring should be the farthest thing from a Disaster Movie. I remember having more fun at INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE, and that movie was awful.