FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER

FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER is my favorite film in the franchise. Not the original you say? How come? I don't know really. Sure I'll acknowledge that FRIDAY THE 13TH is the one that started the slasher movie craze. And it is a classic in that respect, but I've never been a fan of Jason's mother being the killer. It wasn't till I was 12 years old that I watched my first Friday The 13th movie. The years leading up to that, Jason was the poster boy for these films. I'd see his image at the video rental store, on the cover of Fangoria, and even in a Nintendo game. Jason Voorhees was always the killer at Camp Crystal Lake.

I think of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER as the quintessential film in the series. It has a nice recap of the series, some of the best characters, good production value, some of the best camera work in the series, the best gore effects (before the MPAA really started to censor things ridiculously), and Jason actually dies at the end. Like I said quintessential, a best of the best if you will.

By now the slasher formula in these films is pretty much set in stone, but director Joesph Zito put a lot of heart and extra touches not found in the series until now. Instead of camp counselors we have teenagers looking to party at a lake house. Next door is a mother and her two kids. Even without going into detail, this is a refreshing change in dynamic.

Dead with an ax to the face at the end of Part 3, Jason Voorhees is presumed dead. At the hospital in the morgue Jason jumps back to life and kills a couple of morgue assistants. Now alive and kicking Jason starts to make his way back to Crystal Lake. We come across some teenagers looking to have a nice weekend at the lake house. These teens aren't your typical stereotype victims which became the norm sometime in the 90's with horror films. No. These kids all have personalities that make them seem real that way you can worry about them latter when Jason comes to kill them.

My favorite of the bunch is Ted and Jimmy. Jimmy is played by Marty McFly's dad, Crispin Glover. The character Jimmy at one point does a dance in the movie that has to be seen to be believed. Seriously go to You Tube and type “Crispin Glover dance”. It's amazing. What the heck is Crispin doing?

Next door to the lake house is where the Jarvis family live. Trish and her brother Tommy get to know their new neighbors and get invited to party with them. Along the way they meet a hitchhiker who in actuality is hunting down Jason in the woods to kill him. His sister has been missing and is presumed dead after the events of Part 2 and Part 3. The first time I saw the movie I thought this was an awesome concept, a bounty hunter type going after Jason for revenge. The end result is not as cool as you think it'd be. In fact it's kind of embarrassing. Let's just say the guy turns out to be a wus.

The inevitable happens and Jason starts killing off everybody one by one. In a way the events start to pan out like your everyday slasher film, but the slow burn leading up to it makes all the difference. Like I said before it's the time spent with the teens and Tommy Jarvis that set's this apart from the other movies.

The ending is the big enchilada with the death of Jason. Effects master Tom Savini was brought back for the “final chapter” and he did not disappoint with the gore. Seeing that this was planned to be the last “Friday”, the filmmakers went all out with killing Jason. It's my favorite non-zombie Jason death sequence.

Out of all the Friday The 13th films released by Paramount Pictures this one is my favorite because in my opinion it's the one that best represents the series. When I talk to people about these films I tell them there are two movies to watch, FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER and THE BURNING. THE BURNING is another slasher film that has a camp setting. It's a rip-off of the Friday The 13th films, but it's a rip-off that truly rivals the majority of that series!

In 2009 New Line Cinema along with Paramount Pictures decided to remake FRIDAY THE 13TH. Instead of a shot for shot remake they combined the first four films together. On first viewing I really liked this idea (except for the lame ending). The main reason for liking it was because I really did not care for Part 2 and 3. I've seen the remake now four times and each time I started hating it more and more. Recently I have had a rediscovery of sorts with the originals and appreciate them more than I ever had. One day I may do a retrospective of the whole series?

If you ever watch 1 Friday The 13th film in your life I recommend it being FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

ALIEN

Ever since 2010 I've wanted to blog about Ridley Scott's ALIEN. Probably my favorite film in the Alien movie franchise. I say probably because my opinion changes constantly between it being my favorite or the sequel, ALIENS. This is post is going to be about ALIEN but I do want to talk first a little about ALIENS, the one that started it all for me.

The year had to have been 1987 or 1988 the first time I saw ALIENS. I do know it was on HBO the first time I saw it. It scared the crap out of me. Looking at the film now as an adult, it's just a bad ass action movie in space with some spooky atmosphere. But when I was a kid it was the most intense movie I had ever seen. When the Colonial Marines first encounter the Aliens, it was like watching a living nightmare.

It wouldn't be until the early nineties that I finally watched ALIEN. With ALIEN 3 being released in 1992, the early nineties me and my friends were all about the Alien movies.

My best friend at the time had all the films on VHS. Not only that but he had comics, toys, novelizations, and he even had a ALIENS role playing game. When I told him I had never seen ALIEN he didn't act all that surprised. Knowing my tastes at the time he warned me that the film is a little slow and not action packed as the sequel. We watched it anyway and he was right, I was bored and fell asleep. I was such an amateur back then. It wouldn't be until 1999, the 20th anniversary of ALIEN that I would watch the film again. This was also the year that film was really becoming important to me. Along with ALIEN, I was blown away by other science fiction masterpieces such as 2001: A SPACE ODDESY and BLADE RUNNER.

With ALIEN I love how it's science fiction horror. You have the “space truckers” going to other systems mining for minerals. The blue collar aspect of these characters brings a sort of realness to it all that I really really love. The production design still to this day resonates a believability that 200 years from now this is what space travel could look like.

Not only is ALIEN a gorgeous science fiction film it's also a great slasher flick in space. There is a reason the movie's tag line is “In Space No One Can Hear You Scream”. Fans should already know that director Ridley Scott was influenced by the horror film THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE when making ALIEN. And by golly there is a reason I watch ALIEN every year right around Halloween. The final act gets by blood pumping every time!

When it comes to these films as a quadrilogy, ALIENS is my favorite. But I like to think of ALIEN as a stand alone “haunted house/slasher flick” movie. The first hour being the “haunted house” when they explore the crashed spacecraft on LV-426. The mystery of the fossilized Space Jockey I still find fascinating and creepy as all get out. And of course the face hugger scene is still a classic.

The second half of the film is pretty much a slasher film in space. A cat and mouse game with finding the alien. To some this is when the film gets kinda predictable but I still find it pretty scary. When the crew split up to capture the creature and blow it out of the air lock, they have no idea just how big the sucker has grown. They are expecting to catch something no bigger than a cat when they go hunting for it the first time. So watching the movie with that in mind is still a scary thing.

The other day I watched a video review of ALIEN and it got me thinking about the possibility of the movie having an anti war message somewhere between the lines? My speculation has something to do with Weyland-Yutani wanting the creature for a weapon. I may dig into that when I blog about PROMETHEUS which I've been dying to do since last year.

HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH

Oh the memories of HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH. Before seeing or even knowing about that famous slasher flick with Michael Myers, the third installment was my first exposure to the film franchise. No way did I watch it! Turning on the television and seeing a kid wearing a jack o lantern halloween mask that's rotting with snakes and bugs crawling out of it was enough for me. That image haunted me for years. For the longest time I just figured it was an episode of TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE?

The year had to have been 1987 or 1988 when I first became interested in horror. It was probably on a Friday or Saturday night watching television when I came across the coolest thing ever on HBO. This guy using a chainsaw to cut off his possessed hand. Way too intense for me, but before I changed the channel what was once horror quickly turned to comedy. I quickly grabbed the monthly HBO program guide and learned what I was watching was called EVIL DEAD II: DEAD BY DAWN. It wouldn't be till seven or eight years later that I really knew what this movie was or what it means to me.

While seeing Ash fight his possessed hand was the coolest thing ever, my real love of horror began with Freddy Kruger and the Dream Warriors. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: THE DREAM WARRIORS was the very first slasher film I ever watched in it's entirety. I watched it on late night broadcast television because I was so scared. Turns out the film was more funny and cool than scary. At school friends knew more about the Elm Street movies than EVIL DEAD II: DEAD BY DAWN, so Freddy it was then.

So it's the mid nineties and me and my buddy watch one of the classics, John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN. This film changed my life. How? That's a whole other post my friend. HALLOWEEN was the first horror film that I found important. If I remember correctly we did a double feature with the sequel HALLOWEEN II? My reaction to HALLOWEEN II made me a fan of slasher films for life. It's not my favorite slasher film but because of HALLOWEEN II the genre clicked with me.

So what's next, HALLOWEEN 3? My buddy had done his homework and told me this is one we can avoid, it doesn't have anything to do with Michael Myers. Which leads us to HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH.

For many years I have hated HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH. No Michael Myers in your movie? Lame. Thank goodness for HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS. This was my line of thinking for the longest time. It wasn't until a few years ago that I wanted to watch “the one without Michael Myers” just to see if I could enjoy it as a stand alone horror film. The answer is kind of. The film does things I like about it, but as a whole I see the movie as a misfire. The attempt to make the Halloween film franchise a horror anthology was indeed a step in the right direction but with the box office boom of slasher flicks it was a mistake to try something different.

I could see myself enjoying this film as a double or triple feature with other horror movies. Or sharing it at movie nights with the uneducated.

Shop owner Harry Grimbridge is taken to the hospital after colapsing holding a Silver Shamrock jack-o-lantern mask. After an apparent suicide/murder Dr. Challis and Ellie, the victim's daughter immediately investigate. Their clues lead them to the small town of Santa Mira, California, home of the Silver Shamrock mask making factory. The two learn of Conal Cochran, Mr. Cochran is the sole reason for the towns prosperity. After meeting some townsfolk, Dr. Challis and Ellie get the feeling that something just isn't right about the town or the Silver Shamrock factory. Things get ugly when the two discover Grimbridge's car. They are captured and Cochran tells Challis of his evil plan to kill thousands on Halloween. The Silver Shamrock trademark on the masks contains a computer chip containing fragments of Stonehenge. When the Silver Shamrock commercial airs on Halloween night, the chip will activate, killing the wearer and unleashing a lethal swarm of insects and snakes, killing those around the wearer. Cochran explains his plan to resurrect macabre aspects of Gaelic festival Samhain, which he connects to witchcraft.

Will Dr. Challis stop this madman in time or will it truly be the “season of the witch”?

The idea behind the movie is cool but the filmmakers should have just stuck with Micheal Myers.

The few things that I like about HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH is the fact that the film is indeed creepy from time to time. The cameos from actors that were in HALLOWEEN are cool. Listen for Jamie Lee Curtis as you hear her voice over a P.A system reminding the town of it's curfew. But the best thing about the movie is actor Tom Atkins! Such a cool guy. If you've never seen NIGHT OF THE CREEPS I highly recommend it!

Would the film have been more of a success if it had dropped the Halloween moniker? I honestly do not think that it would. It would have the same cult classic appeal that is does today. That's what I think anyway, who knows really?

I only feel comfortable recommending HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH to horror movie buffs like myself.

MACHETE KILLS

Director Robert Rodriguez got it right with the sequel MACHETE KILLS. From the very beginning you can tell this is what a Machete film should be. Pretty much everything about the sequel is better than the original. One could argue that MACHETE KILLS goes so far in not taking itself seriously that the film borders on spoof. This is a good thing. It goes hand in hand with the original concept/fake trailer.

The film is indeed spoof but the good kind of spoof. Not in the vain of early nineties spoof like HOT SHOTS or anything like that. Instead MACHETE KILLS reminds me a lot of a Roger Corman produced film from the late seventies or early eighties. Oddly enough FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI: JASON LIVES was another movie that kept popping up in my mind while watching the latest Machete film. Rodriguez toying with the notion that Machete cannot be killed I found very amusing.

This time around Machete has been hired by Mr. President to stop a Mexican revolutionary named Mendez who has a missile aimed at Washington D.C. Things get complicated when Machete finds out that the real threat comes from Luthor Voz, an eccentric arms dealing terrorist.

MACHETE KILLS is Rodriguez's James Bond movie. This film would work great as a double feature with LIVE AND LET DIE or MOONRAKER.

Luthor Voz (played brilliantly by Mel Gibson) is someone that could easily be on S.P.E.C.T.R.E's payroll.

There isn't much I didn't like about this movie. In fear of just sounding like a fanboy I'll just share a non spoiler reason why I'm a Rodriguez fan. I like the fact that when watching MACHETE KILLS I know 100% that I'm witnessing a Robert Rodriguez film. A filmmaker who loves movies that makes movies. A true B-movie exploitation auture.

I typically find entertainment even in his films that I consider failures. ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO frustrates me to no end but I find myself with a smile on my face every time I watch it. The same goes for MACHETE. Bottom line, he's a director that makes kid's movies for adults and I will always love that no matter if the film works for me or not.

I highly recommend MACHETE KILLS to fans of exploitation films. My only beef with the film is that it ends on a joke. Let's talk about the joke. So MACHETE KILLS begins with a fake trailer that's MACHETE KILLS AGAIN IN SPACE. It's funny, it's cool. It has some THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK imagery.

By the end of the movie certain events start to fall into place that set up the movie's story to conclude in MACHETE KILLS AGAIN IN SPACE. My first thought was this is getting really retarded. But the more I thought about it the more I recalled Star Wars knock offs like BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS and STAR CRASH.

Now I am completely on board for a Robert Rodriguez Star Wars knock-off exploitation science fiction film!

I really hope it's not a joke because MACHETE KILLS AGAIN IN SPACE would be amazing!

BREAKING BAD, THE FUTURE OF CATCHAFLICK, AND TAKING A BREAK

32 blog entries this year so far! That's pretty good considering my track record in recent years. I've been on a roll and enjoying it quite a bit. Readers have told me they think I'm getting better and I've even met a few new readers this year. That's always encouraging!

Now that summer is over the movie reviews will naturally slow down a bit. For weeks I've been thinking what to do that would make up for decline in new movie reviews. With Halloween approaching blogging about a bunch of my favorite horror movies sounded like a good idea. But something kept telling me no. Telling me no? That's crazy! This month we have a Friday the 13th and to celebrate Warner Home Video is finally releasing on Blu-Ray all the Friday The 13th / Jason movies in one giant box set! I've always wanted to write a retrospective blog on a box set of films. What a perfect time to do it! Again, something kept telling me no.

So what is it! What's telling me no? What's telling me I should be doing something better! Okay. I got it. Back in 2011 I started watching the amazing television show BREAKING BAD. I started watching it thanks to Netflix Instant. Taking my sweet time, because I'm more of a movie guy than television watcher. Long story short I started watching again this year because the series is about to end. Needless to say I got hooked. BREAKING BAD is my favorite thing right now. No joke.

That's what I wanna do next. I'm going to start blogging about BREAKING BAD. Awesome! Pick 10 all time favorite episodes and blog about them. Cool. And like clock work something kept telling me no. No. There is something better, something more productive that you need to do. Something you like doing but do not do nearly enough.

The thing that has been telling me no all this time is my desire to write a screenplay. It's embarrassing how long I've wanted to do this. Waiting for the perfect time and all. Well come to find out there is no such thing as the perfect time.

I have an idea and for a few weeks now I've been writing out a transcript / outline. More than likely my idea is not going to be any good. But that's not the point. Not ever trying has to be worse than failing. So I'm going to give this 100%. The blogging won't ever stop but I won't be turning them out like I did this summer.

Thanks for reading as always,

TOP 10 FAVORITE SUMMER MOVIES OF 2013

Labor day weekend is the last unofficial weekend of the summer. What an appropriate time to do a favorite summer movie list. I can't call it a "best of" because I did not see all the summer movies this year. Sorry, I'm not going to see AFTER EARTH, GROWN UPS 2, or R.I.P.D. The one I regret not seeing is DESPICABLE ME 2 of all things.

Here are the films that did not make the list: The Wolverine, Fast and Furious 6, The Lone Ranger, World War Z, The Great Gatsby, Elysium, White House Down, and Kick Ass 2

10. STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS - This one may shock a lot of people, heck it shocked me. For weeks this film stayed in my top 5 of the summer, but after some deep soul searching and the release of better films STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS kept dropping. Oh, and the fact that when it hits home video next month with one of the most basic special features (audio commentary) only being available on iTunes is a major fail! Digital Copy and Cloud technology sucks, if I buy something I should physically own it!

9. THE HEAT - Third best comedy of the summer. I love the buddy cop genre and it's been far too long since I've seen a good one. THE HEAT delivers.

8. YOU'RE NEXT - This one came out of nowhere it feels like. The first time I saw the trailer was when I saw the Evil Dead remake and my first thought was that it looked like your standard by the numbers THE STRANGERS knock off. I was wrong. This Labor Day weekend go see this awesome horror movie!

7. MAN OF STEEL - Just like with STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS this film remained high on the list but continued to drop. I'm over the whole "destruction porn" debate. This film is a pretty badass Superman movie; however, the end does get a little tiresome. That's the only reason it's sitting at number seven.

6. THE CONJURING - I think it's safe to say that my number six pick is my favorite horror movie of 2013!

5. THIS IS THE END - Okay starting September 5th you have one week to see why THIS IS THE END is one of my favorite movies of the summer when it gets re-released to theaters. Check it out!

4. PACIFIC RIM - This one was my favorite for the longest time. The longest time! But I cannot deny how much this next movie rules over it! Seriously though, PACIFIC RIM is not to be taken lightly. This movie exceeded every expectation I had for it.

3. IRON MAN 3 - Three words. Director Shane Black. Nuff' Said.

These next two films are serious contenders for my favorite film of 2013.

2. KINGS OF SUMMER Haven't reviewed this one yet. Thinking of saving it for the end of the year. But yes, this movie took me by surprise. Coming-of-age films are probably my favorite kinds of movies. I think it's because of my love for nostalgia. See KINGS OF SUMMER the first chance you get. I think it's comes out on video real soon?

1. THE WORLD'S END Yep. I'm bias. Edgar Wright is one of my favorite directors working today. He hasn't let me down yet. And THE WORLD'S END is a fitting finish to a perfect trilogy.

YOU'RE NEXT

YOU'RE NEXT is one of the funnest horror movies you'll see in a theater this year! Really had a blast with this one. 2013 so far has been one of the best years in horror. We've got YOU'RE NEXT, THE CONJURING, V/H/S/2, and THE ABC'S OF DEATH just to name a few. I still haven't seen THE PURGE or EUROPA REPORT yet but word of mouth on those have been promising. We still have INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 which I'm honestly not that excited for. Overall the horror films I've seen this year has got me excited about the genre again.

I'm not a big fan of the Home Invasion sub-genre in horror. Frankly because it scares the crap out of me. I remember that movie THE STRANGERS sticking with me for a couple of days. I'm more of a over stylized slasher flick kind of guy. Movies like FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER, EVIL DEAD II, and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: THE DREAM WARRIORS are genuinely my cup of tea.

I am a big fan of SCREAM and it's subsequent sequels. Looking back on the horror of the 90's I find myself being kind of annoyed at the lack of gore and how every film had to be cynical. For some reason every slasher film had to be smart and self aware. This trend still carries on today but thankfully it's not in every single horror movie.

Written and directed respectively by Simon Barrett and Adam Wingard, YOU'RE NEXT gets it right. Now generally I'd give a brief description of how events in the film play out. I'm not going to do that with YOU'RE NEXT. Frankly I can't. All I can tell you is what you should already know from the trailers. This movie is a home invasion film. From my vagueness you could guess that the film takes a turn. Yes. Yes it does, and let me tell you what an awesome turn it is!

Things that I will share. The acting is pretty good. Fun family dynamic when all the characters are gathered around the dinner table for their parents anniversary. The gore and practical effects were amazing! Speaking of the effects work, it should be noted that Springfield, Missouri's very own Mike Strain did the FX work in the film. Good job Mike!

Actress Sharni Vinson steals the show. I hope to see a lot more of her soon. Horror and Action movie filmmakers take note. Sharni has the potential to be a badass newcomer. I'd love to see her in that rumored all female cast Expendables-ish movie. Her IMDB page says her next film should be PATRICK, a remake of the Australian cult-classic. Interesting. Highly recommended for horror movie fans! With the success of YOU'RE NEXT I hope to see more of the continued rise in indie horror popularity. Also keep an eye out for a funny cameo from the director of HOUSE OF THE DEVIL.

YOU'RE NEXT is well on it's way to becoming my favorite horror movie of 2013, if not my favorite slasher/ home invasion sub-genre flick of the year!

THE WORLD'S END

As of now THE WORLD'S END is my third favorite of the Three Flavors Cornetto trilogy. As with the other films, it happily deems multiple viewings. The writing team of Edgar and Simon have a real knack for that. I love how they cram their scripts with jokes galore. Just the other day I had a movie night and we watched HOT FUZZ because a friend had never seen it before who was with us for THE WORLD'S END. This would have been about number 10 for me and I was still laughing hysterically and catching a few new jokes here and there.

THE WORLD'S END seems like Edgar Wright's most personal film in the trilogy. It certainly was for me. I can relate a little bit to the film. 36 years old and still single with all of your closest buds married off with their careers in full swing. So yeah in a way I can sympathize with good ole Gary King.

20 years after attempting a pub crawl called the Golden Mile, 5 childhood friends reunite when one of them is bound and determined to conquer the drinking marathon. Gary King, a 40 year old trapped by the nostalgia of his teenage glory days begs and manipulates his friends into finishing what they started many years ago. Feeling sorry for their friend that never grew up they all arrive one by one and to the Golden Mile they go.

Gary cannot be more happier to have his friends back reliving the glory days, or at least trying too. The “Five Musketeers” all catch up with each other. During the trip down memory lane it's evident that not everything is the same. Not only has Gary's friends changed but the town has as well. Strange observations galore until the ultimate reveal, a confrontation in the Gents' restroom which leads to an all out kung-fu style fight with robots. The friends are all shocked and don't know what to do. They all agree just to play it cool and try not to draw anymore attention and get out of town after they finish the golden mile at The World's End. Easier said than done I'm afraid.

The night just gets more crazy and THE WORLD'S END rocks! This film is probably the funniest of the trilogy, a couple more viewings are in order to be sure. I really dig how the film spoke to me. Hidden among the pub crawl drunkenness, robots, kung-fu, and wrestling moves is sadness. Being nostalgic and always looking back at your past can be dangerous. Being nostalgic has its fun benefits from time to time but it can also be a poison.

Finding maturity without losing your dreams and youthful streak. This is the biggest thing I got out of THE WORLD'S END.

I cannot wait to watch the trilogy back to back! Watching HOT FUZZ the other night refreshed my memory just on how much the three films complement each other stylistically. Glorious movie nights lay ahead!

With THE WORLD'S END making the trilogy complete I'm sure the working relationship of Wright, Pegg, and Frost will be quiet for several years. But I'm a fan of all their work and happily await Edgar's ANT MAN and whatever projects Simon and Nick have next! THE WORLD'S END is highly recommended which comes as no surprise. In my opinion director Edger Wright is 4 – 0 and continues to be one of my favorite filmmakers working today!

KICK ASS 2

KICK ASS 2 sucks. It's not the worst movie of the year, just the biggest let down. Okay, second biggest because ELYSIUM definitely earned that title with flying colors.

What happened with KICK ASS 2? Did the filmmakers or Universal Pictures even watch the first film? Why did Lionsgate not go forward with the sequel? Easy answer, because they are cheep. That right there is the sequels first mistake, they should have made a deal with Lionsgate. The second mistake is going with a studio like Universal to make a exploitation comic book movie. All the heart that was in the first film is gone with KICK ASS 2. Everything that was great about KICK ASS is either tossed aside or watered down. Instead of Mindy/ Hit Girl taking down bad guys, we have a boring sub-plot of her being forced to fit in at high school hanging with the popular girls.

When the franchises most popular character is stuck in a remake of 'Mean Girls' and not out fighting crime then something is seriously wrong with your movie. I got real tired of Kick Ass complaining that Hit Girl had quit and wishing she would join the Justice Forever team.

To keep this from just turning into one giant rant I'll sum up the problem with KICK ASS 2 as being artistic differences. Director of the first film Matthew Vaughn, had a distinct vision and style. His screenplay was smart and witty. Matthew Vaughn knows how to direct action. He understands when and where to place changes in tone. KICK ASS 2 maestro Jeff Wadlow knows none of these things. That's a tad harsh I know but the end result of this new film was just so vanilla that I don't know how else to describe it?

KICK ASS 2 picks up shortly after the events of the first film. The brave acts of Kick Ass inspire other folks to put on costumes and dish out vigilante justice. Kick Ass wants to form a super-hero team with Hit Girl. It goes well for awhile but quickly gets interrupted when Mindy is forced to retire and focus on being a normal teenager. Dave/Kick Ass isn't about to quit so he joins forces with Justice Forever, a team of costumed vigilantes inspired by him. Justice Forever start cleaning the streets and begin making a real difference. Meanwhile, someone from Dave's past looking for revenge is quickly making a name for himself as the super villain The Mother#$%@#!.

KICK ASS was one of my favorite films of 2010. It's a shame what the sequel turned out to be. I really think things would have been different if the film had been written and directed by Matthew Vaughn. If that was the case then this would have been a world of characters worth revisiting time and time again.

My recommendation is to watch KICK ASS and forget the sequel even exists.

AFTERSHOCK

Talk about your disaster movie! That was my initial thought 30 minutes into AFTERSHOCK. This film has it all; comedy, romance, drama, thrills, and horror. The tonal shifts are jarring at times, you'll be laughing and then the next second someone gets crushed or impaled with a steel rod. The sudden loss of a friend to be followed by a fart joke. Okay, the fart joke really didn't happen but you get the point. Once things get going AFTERSHOCK really earns it's horror movie credentials. And as far as disaster movies go I'd rather watch AFTERSHOCK any day of the week then sit through 2012 ever again.

AFTERSHOCK is director Nicolas Lopez's first stab at the horror genre. His filmography is mostly romantic comedies. Somewhere along his career he met horror master Eli Roth. Fans of each others work they decided to collaborate with one another and make a horror comedy. Inspired by horrific footage and stories about the earthquake/tsunami that hit Chile in 2010.

This is a Eli Roth co-production so you know already it's going to involve horny guys trying to hook up with hot chicks at a club. Yep, you're right. Co-written by Roth he also stars as Gringo who is visiting some college buddies in Chile. During his visit and sight seeing him and his friends try to hook up with the lovely ladies of Chile. One night they get into one of the hottest clubs and this is where a good chuck of the romantic comedy in the film takes place. We have Gringo striking out with every girl he meets. His friend Ariel wants to party but is trying to patch this up with his on again off again girlfriend. Then we have the life of the party Pollo, the confident friend who seems to always get the girls.

The guys hook up with three gorgeous women and a little love triangle ensues. The party seems to be going good and then the earthquake happens. Kudos to the director for using practical effects as much as he could. This isn't Syfy Channel crap with CGI debris falling everywhere.

Our main characters all barely make it out of the club alive. Once out on the streets that's when the real mayhem begins. Mass hysteria, looters, and escaped prison inmates. With tragedy happening at every corner will Gringo and his friends survive the night?

My biggest annoyance with AFTERSHOCK was not knowing when to laugh or be horrified? Some of the beats worked and some did not. Especially the end where the film becomes a slasher film for no reason? One of the things that surprisingly worked for me was Eli Roth's Gringo. I really wasn't digging this character (or his performance) at the beginning but as the film went on something real genuine started to show.

AFTERSHOCK would work best a double or triple feature exploitation movie night. On it's own you might think you just wasted 90 minutes of your life away.

Recommended!

ELYSIUM

Did not care too much for this one. Watching ELYSIUM the new film by Neil Blomkamp, the acclaimed director of DISTRICT 9 is like watching a science fiction movie made by Micheal Moore. Unlike the subtleness of the message in DISTRICT 9, the political beliefs in this new film hit you in the head with a sledgehammer. The broad brush strokes of class warfare become so boring and at times down right juvenile. Everything in DISTRICT 9 felt more controlled and balanced, which makes for a far more interesting, smart, and thrilling science fiction film. Unfortunately the only thing ELYSIUM has going for it is Blomkamp's masterful use of special effects and set design. The metaphor this time around does more harm than good.

The second biggest problem with ELYSIUM might have to do with the fact that's it's a far bigger production than DISTRICT 9? Bigger stars, bigger budget almost always leads to more studio involvement. A lot of this film seems like a studio executive took an ax to it. Tailored fit for the masses maybe? I doubt it. Who knows? What happened to the character development? Truth be told there really isn't any. What we have is a bunch of archetypes instead. Max, the blue collar hero of the film that's going to make things fair for everybody. Spider, the loud mouth hyperactive black market computer hacker. Delacourt, the weird French accented mustache twirling (if she had a mustache) evil Defense Secretary who is in charge of Elysium's security. The only character that I felt was worth a damn was Kruger, the sleeper agent working for the Defense Secretary on earth. Kruger is not the guy to root for by any means but Sharlto Copley really feels like the only actor giving it his all.

Set in the year 2154, where the very wealthy live on a space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth. Redeemed hoodlum Max takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds.

Our hero Max is a career criminal trying to make good by working one of the only jobs on the wasteland Earth. A factory that manufactures police robots, the very same robots that terrorize the dregs left on Earth. One day while working the production line Max gets a deadly dose of radiation. With only 5 days to live he concocts a plan with Spider, one of his old partners in crime. Seeing that Max now has nothing to loose, Spider wants to send Max to Elysium with a program that could reboot the space station so that everybody can live there. It's important to note that Elysium is full of med pods that can cure any aliment. Dying of radiation Max really sees no point but to take on the risky mission. Like any good Defense Secretary would, Delacourt gets wind of this plan and sends nasty sleeper agent Kruger after Max and his cohorts to stop them.

ELYSIUM really didn't do much for me. I found the story and it's characters severely lacking. The class warfare metaphor I found offensive at times. The apartheid metaphor in DISTRICT 9 I felt was far more useful and effective.

The only thing I found myself enjoying was the breathtaking visuals and effective use of special effects.

Would I recommend it? Yes. It's a marvel of a film. My final thought is maybe I'm a jerk for letting my political conservative bias get in the way of watching a 'science-fiction' film? Gulp!

THE WOLVERINE

Yes it's better than X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE no question about that. Heck, this may be the best cinematic outing Wolverine has had yet! We get some of the best action that Wolverine fans have been dying for since X1. That being said, by the time this latest outing got to the third act I was shaking my head.

THE WOLVERINE adapts the comic book tale that die hard fans have been waiting for, Logan in Japan. Years have past since the death of Logan's beloved Jean Grey. Since then he's left the X-Men and has been on the lam living in the wilderness. He spends his days living in a cave listing to classical music. In town he runs into some dumb hick hunters/poachers who later that evening leave a Grizzly left for dead. Later that night in a bar, Logan “kindly” tells them he did not appreciate that none to much. Wolverine the loner is awesome. It reminded me of a cross between Outlaw Josy Wales and Jeremiah Johnson.

Right before Logan breaks his “no more killing” vow, a mysterious samurai sword wielding Japanese woman scares the rednecks straight. Her name is Yukio. This bad ass chick tells Logan that he must come with her to Japan. She is the associate of one of the richest men in Japan, Yashida. Logan and Yashida have a past. They know each other from their time together in WWII. At a P.O.W. Camp just outside of Nagasaki on August 9th, 1945 the two of them both save each other from the bomb.

Yashida is dying but isn't quite ready to pay the piper just yet, or at all for that matter. Yashida wants to live forever. Ever since Logan saved his life that day in Nagasaki, Yashida has been obsessed with his healing ability. Yashida has been keeping a close watch on Logan for years. He knows the pain and toll Logan's mutant power has brought to him. He sees that the power of immortality has now become a curse to his “friend”. Yashida offers the gift of mortality in exchange for Logan's mutant healing ability. This trade seems appealing to Logan after the death of his soul mate Jean Grey. Logan declines the offer but secretly gets it taking away from him anyway.

Yashida passes away during the night. The fortune left behind all goes to Yashida's granddaughter Mariko instead of her father Shingen, who immediately tires to have her killed so he can take over the business. Even Mariko herself tries to commit suicide to spare her family the burden of her being in charge. Logan being the boy scout he is decides to protect Mariko. What lies ahead is probably the greatest challenge Wolverine has ever faced. Vulnerable and pushed to the limits, he not only faces lethal samurai steel but also a inner struggle with is own immortality.

THE WOLVERINE had me. I loved the beginning of the film. The Nagasaki scene was amazing. The scenes of Logan hiding/living in the woods was cool and interesting. Hugh Jackman said it best that Wolverine's character whole life is full of pain. So it's better that he just escapes. He can't die really. He just wants to get away from everything. I couldn't agree more. Director James Mangold said THE OUTLAW JOSY WALES was a major inspiration and quite honestly he delivered on that statement.

Things started to get even better once Logan arrives in Japan. What makes this film stand apart from the rest in the series is that it's truly a character piece. Over time that fact alone may trump my complaints about how the movie just goes off the rails in the third act. When we get to Japan, Logan starts to realize everything isn't adding up and starts to “rage” when the Yakuza try to kill him and Mariko. While all this is bad ass with an amazing action scene that starts at a funeral and ends atop of a speeding bullet train. All the inner family drama surrounding the death of Yashida and the inheritance of his fortune really starts to bog down the movie. Seriously. This sub plot went on for way too long and got boring fast.

Where the movie stubbles is in two areas. One being a certain character that goes by the name of Viper. And the second is at the climax of the film where it goes toward the clichéd comic book big action sequence instead of something more quiet and bad ass like JACK REACHER. The big action climax does not serve THE WOLVERINE very well at all. Something better paced and moodier would've fit better in my opinion. Sorry for getting ahead of myself. Let's talk about Viper

Viper has to be one of the worst characters I've seen in a X-Men film or superhero movie in a long time. Every time this character opened her mouth it made my ears bleed. No offense to the very attractive Svetlana Khodchenkova who plays Viper. She's not the problem. The problem is a poorly written character who really did not need to be in the movie at all. Every time Viper was on screen it took me out of the film.

In the grand scheme of things the problems I have with THE WOLVERINE are not deal breakers. The movie is pretty darn good. Not awesome. Awesome would be less shaky action cam and more wide angle action, more blood, and more ninjas. We'll probably never get an R-rated Wolverine movie. PG-13 X-Men adventures I understand completely; however, Wolverine solo gigs really need to be R.

MIAMI CONNECTION (1987)

Speechless, jaw-dropping speechless. MIAMI CONNECTION is my current favorite 'so bad it's good' movie. This thing is epic. I went in expecting the amazing awfulness of a turd like DEADLY PREY but what I got was so much better. So much better! Okay maybe not, DEADLY PREY is pretty amazing.

Do you know who can eat a donut on their face without using any hands? Dragon Sound! Do you know who solves the worlds problems with Tae Kwon Do by day and then rocks a fat beat at night? Dragon Sound! What team of Tae Kwon Do black belts can take on a clan of about 30 ninjas? Dragon Sound!

Here's just a taste of some of the lyrics to the Dragon Sound pop synth anthem “Friends”!

“Friends forever / we'll be to-gether / We're on top cuz we play to win-in / Friends for eternity / Loyalty, honesty / Stay together through thick and thi-in...”

A group of Sturgis lovin' motorcycle ridin' ninjas tighten the grip on their narcotics trade in Florida. Orlando Florida. Meanwhile in another movie, martial arts rock band Dragon Sound is becoming all the rage with their hit song “Against The Ninja”! These cool dudes are all about spreading world peace with killer guitar solos and Tae Kwon Do. Yeah buddy! Dragon Sound being the hip new act at Orlando Florida's hottest night club puts a damper on the clubs previous band. Outraged, the band tries several attempts to kick Dragon Sound's ass but you cannot stop the power of rock and Tae Kwon Do! The rival band finally calls on the help of the motorcycle ninja clan. Better not mess with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do! The peaceful Dragon Sound get pushed too far and decide to lay out some board- breaking justice against the ninjas.

You gotta love late eighties low budget action-martial arts movies, god bless them that their hearts are in the right places. A common thread I see in a lot of them are picking up strangers of the street for five bucks and having them be extras. Just put on these sunglasses, jacket, and carry this Uzi 9mm water pistol and look bad ass.

The director, Y.K Kim who is a renowned motivational speaker and Tae-Kwon-Do black belt, had his heart in the right place making MIAMI CONNECTION but the execution was all wrong. Or was it? I really enjoy this train wreck. The tone is all over the place with this one. The opening scene is a bunch of ninjas killing some drug dealers. It's so graphic and over the top. I was thinking the whole movie was going to be like this? 120 minutes of over the top cheesy and badly choreographed action scenes with terrible over acting death scenes. Nope. A good chunk of the movie is Dragon Sound rockin' it out at the club playing music and breaking boards on stage. Them going to school at Florida Central College. And a motorcycle gang of a bunch of ninjas having a good time at Sturgis. All sprinkled with the positive message that Tae-Kwon-Do can end violence peacefully. Something like that anyway?

It's not until the end of the movie where Dragon Sound has no choice but to use lethal force against the ninjas. The gruesome violence is so hilarious at this moment because it's so out of left field and of course poorly done.

MIAMI CONNECTION will be a cherished addition to my movie collection. Some films just have to be seen to be believed.

AGAINST THE NINJA!!!

ONLY GOD FORGIVES

On October 10th, 2003 I saw volume one of my favorite movie, KILL BILL. That film and it's director has broadened my cinematic horizons for the past 10 years. It gave me a new love and appreciation for exploitation and international cinema. If not for KILL BILL and Quentin Tarantino I would more than likely hate movies like ONLY GOD FORGIVES and think Micheal Bay is the greatest filmmaker since Steven Spielberg.

DRIVE was one of my favorite films of 2011. When I had heard about ONLY GOD FORGIVES I could not wait to see it. I wanted to love ONLY GOD FORGIVES I really did, but walked away just liking it. The good news is that I was never bored. The movie is very atmospheric and a slow burn. Very slow. Plus it just oozes with style. Too much style? Nah, man! Why is style over substance in a film almost always immediately frowned upon? Not just by critics but also by moviegoers. A picture is worth a thousand words, especially in motion pictures.

I admire the artistic style of Nicolas Winding Refn and his fetish for on screen violence. The simplest way for me to describe his latest film is imagine David Lynch directing a script written by Quentin Tarantino.

The basic premise is two American drug lord brothers are operating in the underbelly of Bangkok using a kick boxing gym as a front. The oldest brother Billy, is twisted and one night murders a prostitute. Out of revenge the young girls father kills Billy. Billy's mother wants her son Julian to find the people responsible and kill them. Revenge is never a straight line and in the middle of all this is a police officer (who is more like an angel of vengeance) dead set on 'restoring order'.

The performances are amazing. This is the re-teaming of director Nicholas Winding Refn and his DRIVE lead actor Ryan Gosling. Ryan's Julian is a troubled sort who would rather try and win the affection of his favorite prostitute than climb the 'corporate' ladder. Another dark and stoic performance by Gosling, but his Julian is by no means a anti-hero much like The Driver in DRIVE.

Kristin Scott Thomas plays Crystal, the mother of Billy and Julian. Thomas' Crystal is one of the best performances in the film. I love it when actors play against type. She nails it. A lot is left to the imagination on how Crystal became the icy bitch she is. Think Lady Macbeth meets Desperate Housewife. The apparent Oedipal relationship she has with her son Julian might have something to do with it as well.

Then we have the true star of the film, the title character god himself, Officer Chang. A brilliant performance from Thai actor Vithaya Pansringarm. The line is blurred and left to interpretation if Chang is the hero or true villain. He's pretty villainous no question but aren't his acts of Old Testament 'angel of vengeance' just? At times they certainly seem so. Truly a great cinematic character!

Instead of your standard narrative what we get is a lot of style over substance. It is evident that Refn is more concerned about the image, human nature, philosophy, and a fetish for violence then liner storytelling when it comes to his films.

Pure cinema.

Recommended if you liked DRIVE. If you hated DRIVE then you'll probably loathe ONLY GOD FORGIVES. How could you hate DRIVE?

THE CONJURING

THE CONJURING is so far my favorite horror film of 2013.  The tone, atmosphere, and use of practical effects are pitch perfect.  This is the horror movie I've been waiting for since the Paranormal Activity phenomena.

  What a great year for horror so far.  Things were looking bleak with TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D and THE LAST EXORCISM 2 but quickly turned around with EVIL DEAD(2013).  I haven't seen it yet but on high recommendation and a so-so one THE PURGE seems legit.  While it won't appeal to everyone  THE ABC'S OF DEATH is a milestone in horror genre cinema.   V/H/S/2 is a found footage/horror anthology masterpiece despite a weak wraparound. Even the remake of MANIAC was awesome. I feel dirty for saying that, but it's true. Somewhere hidden between all of the violence and killing was a interesting take on the slasher flick genre that kept me watching. It made me think what if Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO was an exploitation film? Cool stuff to ponder if you're a movie buff.

Everybody likes to be scared. Some will argue and deny it, but everybody to some degree likes to be scared. Nothing greater than the trill of a group of friends getting spooked and then laughing about it later. Horror movies for me are a great release. I love a good slasher movie with a jump scare here and there. The haunted house genre I always hesitate because despite what you may or may not believe, these flicks tend to appear more real than a zombie in a hockey mask.

As a kid the haunted house movies freaked me out more than Jason or Freddy because at school you would have a classmate or friend that swore their house was haunted. Bigger the house, the more haunted it was. A lot of times it was just for fun and games but once in awhile you'd hear a story that seemed true. Your friends sisters waking the both of you up in the middle of the night claiming the house is haunted? Playful B.S. A demon using your friends Nintendo to play tricks on you? You decide. But like I said, the movies freaked me out. One look at GHOST STORY and or POLTERGEIST then it's bye-bye for me. Back in the day I remember flipping through channels and I saw this couple in a tub and the woman pops up out of the water screaming. I could not change the channel fast enough! The same goes for POLTERGEIST when the kids clown doll comes to life and drags the boy under the bed. CLICK! Since then I've grown to appreciate the genre.

One thing to note is that THE CONJURING is an exorcism movie and I'm just as terrified at those as I am at the haunted house films.

THE CONJURING is based on a true story. The Perron family moves into a new house that unbeknownst to them is cursed. There is some serious evil in this house. How the story goes is that back in the Salem witch hunt days a mother daughter team lived in the house. The daughter got pregnant and her mom convinced her to sacrifice the unborn child to Satan. That's the gist of the story along with some cursing the house at it's future occupants. I don't want to spoil everything for you.

The evil spirits want the Perron family dead. After putting up with torment after torment the family seek the help of Ed and Lorraine Warren, the famous paranormal investigators. The Warren's have seen it all. The real deal all the way down to warped wooden floors that creak in the night. They are semi retired after a bad exorcism took a toll on Lorraine. The Warrens hear the Perron plea and decide to help. What happens next is truly one of the most terrifying horror movies to come out in years. In years!

When reviewing comedies I don't like to spoil the jokes. The same goes for horror movies, telling you the scary parts ruin it. The refreshing thing is that the movie isn't just jump scare after jump scare. Director James Was has mastered the ability to know just how long to build the tension until the viewer cannot handle it anymore. Perfect catch and release. One scene captures the 'somebody is in my room' probably the best I've ever seen done. The lighting and everything brought back memories of the boogeyman hiding in my bedroom. I could go on and on. This is what sells the film. The elements that make a horror movie scary are all present and accounted for in THE CONJURING.

My final thoughts are the more that I think about this movie the more I love it. At this moment it is my favorite movie of the year. It's been awhile since I've liked a horror movie this much and that makes me even more happy.

Highly Recommended!