MIAMI CONNECTION (1987)

Speechless, jaw-dropping speechless. MIAMI CONNECTION is my current favorite 'so bad it's good' movie. This thing is epic. I went in expecting the amazing awfulness of a turd like DEADLY PREY but what I got was so much better. So much better! Okay maybe not, DEADLY PREY is pretty amazing.

Do you know who can eat a donut on their face without using any hands? Dragon Sound! Do you know who solves the worlds problems with Tae Kwon Do by day and then rocks a fat beat at night? Dragon Sound! What team of Tae Kwon Do black belts can take on a clan of about 30 ninjas? Dragon Sound!

Here's just a taste of some of the lyrics to the Dragon Sound pop synth anthem “Friends”!

“Friends forever / we'll be to-gether / We're on top cuz we play to win-in / Friends for eternity / Loyalty, honesty / Stay together through thick and thi-in...”

A group of Sturgis lovin' motorcycle ridin' ninjas tighten the grip on their narcotics trade in Florida. Orlando Florida. Meanwhile in another movie, martial arts rock band Dragon Sound is becoming all the rage with their hit song “Against The Ninja”! These cool dudes are all about spreading world peace with killer guitar solos and Tae Kwon Do. Yeah buddy! Dragon Sound being the hip new act at Orlando Florida's hottest night club puts a damper on the clubs previous band. Outraged, the band tries several attempts to kick Dragon Sound's ass but you cannot stop the power of rock and Tae Kwon Do! The rival band finally calls on the help of the motorcycle ninja clan. Better not mess with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do! The peaceful Dragon Sound get pushed too far and decide to lay out some board- breaking justice against the ninjas.

You gotta love late eighties low budget action-martial arts movies, god bless them that their hearts are in the right places. A common thread I see in a lot of them are picking up strangers of the street for five bucks and having them be extras. Just put on these sunglasses, jacket, and carry this Uzi 9mm water pistol and look bad ass.

The director, Y.K Kim who is a renowned motivational speaker and Tae-Kwon-Do black belt, had his heart in the right place making MIAMI CONNECTION but the execution was all wrong. Or was it? I really enjoy this train wreck. The tone is all over the place with this one. The opening scene is a bunch of ninjas killing some drug dealers. It's so graphic and over the top. I was thinking the whole movie was going to be like this? 120 minutes of over the top cheesy and badly choreographed action scenes with terrible over acting death scenes. Nope. A good chunk of the movie is Dragon Sound rockin' it out at the club playing music and breaking boards on stage. Them going to school at Florida Central College. And a motorcycle gang of a bunch of ninjas having a good time at Sturgis. All sprinkled with the positive message that Tae-Kwon-Do can end violence peacefully. Something like that anyway?

It's not until the end of the movie where Dragon Sound has no choice but to use lethal force against the ninjas. The gruesome violence is so hilarious at this moment because it's so out of left field and of course poorly done.

MIAMI CONNECTION will be a cherished addition to my movie collection. Some films just have to be seen to be believed.

AGAINST THE NINJA!!!