Friday, August 15, 2014


What happened? Really? What the heck happened with this franchise? I'll tell you what happened! PG-13, that's what happened! Something way more important than gory shoot em' up violence got sacrificed in this film, and that's attitude. The bad ass element that made the first two Expendables movies great is watered down if not gone. What we're left with is a pretty good GI:JOE movie for teenagers.

The film starts off promising with a jailbreak aboard a train. But by the second action sequence I was starting to worry a little bit, and sadly things did not get better in my opinion. You know the drill. Shaky camera, bloodless shootouts, jerky editing so you can't tell who's shooting who, and big super duper explosions to distract the audience and compensate for well thought out action scenes.

During a routine job the Expendables see a ghost. Conrad Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), co-founder of the Expendables and traitor thought to be dead is alive and well as a notorious arms dealer. The job all goes to hell when Conrad is identified and Barney Ross(Sylvester Stallone), the leader of the Expendables tries to end his ass. Conrad escapes but not without giving his former teammates a proper goodbye present by leaving one of them mortally wounded.

Shaken by what Conrad did Barney decides to disband the crew. Now it's out with the old and in with the new as Barney recruits some new blood. Plans for revenge quickly change as the CIA wants Barney and his team to bring Conrad in alive so he can go on trial for war crimes. The new team is young and full of energy but even with the aid of Barney they are no match for a seasoned old hat like Conrad Stonebanks. So it's up to Joe Christmas (Jason Statham) and the rest of the Expendables to save Barney and the new class of mercenaries.

This movie was just not for me. I was bias to begin with because of the PG-13 rating so that may have clouded my judgment from the start. I don't have a problem with PG-13 anything if the movie/story is good. What I have a problem with is that for this type of film it needs to be rated R. Period. But it is what it is so I can move on and make the best of it.

I was enjoying EXPENDABLES 3 for the most part, that was until it was time for Barney to recruit some new young blood. I was already two steps ahead, I knew he was going to get this new team only to get their asses handed to them by Conrad and had to get saved by the original bad asses. The idea of a new team didn't bother me, in fact I thought it was going to be kinda cool. But they messed it up. They messed it up big time. The new class of Expendables sucks. Not just the characters but the actors as well. Zero personality. I didn't care about these guys one bit. The original Expendables crew gets sidelined for a better part of the film for these punks? Screw you! No thanks!

At least the movie had some humor in it. Schwarzenegger had a few one liners that I laughed out loud at. Including a classic one that wasn't “I'll be back”! And I wanted more of Antonio Banderas who played a cool character Galgo, a mercenary who doesn't know how to shut up.

EXPENDABLES 3 was also the return of Wesley Snipes which sadly felt lackluster due to him only being in the movie for 30 minutes it felt like. Gotta make room for Kellan (Legend of Hercules) Lutz and MMA superstars who can't act I guess? It was good to see Wesley back nonetheless.

According to Stallone this is the final installment of the franchise, but I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of The Expendables: The New Class. (Sigh)

I recommend THE EXPENDABLES 3 as a matinée at best.

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