Catch A Flick Spooktacular: FRIDAY THE 13th PART V: A NEW BEGINNING

Before I talk about FRIDAY THE 13th PART 5: A NEW BEGINNING I'll fill you in on a little back story on the series thus far. Despite how awful FRIDAY THE 13th PART 3-D was it did however make a ton of money. It was also during this time that the slasher genre was making a killing at the box office and PTA members along with bored mommies with too much time on their hands were protesting these violent and gory horror movies. So Paramount Pictures caved and decided it was time for Jason to hang up his machete for good but not without having one more romp in the woods. FRIDAY THE 13TH PART IV: THE FINAL CHAPTER came out in 1984 and was an excellent “swan song” for the series. What happened next was obvious, the film made a ton of money. The suits at Paramount were genius, moviegoers are obviously going to come out and see the movie where they kill Jason! And kill them they did! No way he can come back from a machete through the head and being chopped to Kibbles n' Bits! Well he did come back, sort of. FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING tries exactly that by teasing us with the idea of a “new” Jason. It fails and it fails big time.

After spending years in a mental hospital for “killing” Jason in Part IV, Tommy Jarvis is sent to a halfway house for maladjusted teens. After one teen from the house brutally kills another and is sent away, it sparks anew the gruesome killings! But is it Jason, Tommy, or could it even be somebody else? Why would it be someone else? That'd be stupid! Okay so who it turns out to be is not all that stupid but just lazy storytelling. What makes this movie one of the worst in the series is not the fact Jason isn't the one doing the killings it's the fact that all the violence is edited to pieces! It really looked like every death scene with the exception of maybe a few were edited down to nothing. This might have been a decent entry in the series if the kills were not messed with. Seriously, some death scenes were just left funny and or confusing. The best kills in the movie ended up being the ones done off camera. Whenever somebody was about to get killed I was wasn't filled with suspense but rather wondering what was going to be edited this time?

Maybe the movie didn't stand a chance with the MPAA? The rumor is that FRIDAY THE 13th Part V: A NEW BEGINNING at the time was the most brutal one yet! I'd believe it after hearing the “lost scene” involving a victim getting a machete stabbed in her you-know-what! Come on Mr. Director, That's just sick!

Another thing this installment has going against it is everything looks bright and colorful or neon. The cold bleak drabness of the previous films are gone. This was important to me because the look of the films was one of the things that made me feel uneasy watching a Friday the 13th!

But leave it to one of the worst in the series to have one of the coolest but really ridiculous things in it that I love! Toward the end of the movie a Sheriff has some newspaper clippings about the killings at Crystal Lake and about Jason himself. One of the clippings has a picture of Jason, hockey mask and all! I literally began laughing my ass off! Who the heck was brave enough to freaking get that picture! Trust me if your a fan of this particular genre then you understand why that is so funny.


In closing,the film may have worked for a non franchise slasher flick but not here. Instead of a “new beginning” it's more of a “revenge” story instead. It's not until after the “real” killer is revealed that there is any inkling of a new direction for the series. Part VI oddly doesn't follow the new direction (which is a great thing) so it became all for nothing anyway. So I think the story is weak but that's not the reason I hate this film, the reason I dismiss Part V is the editing of the gore. It's down right absurd what all they cut out of this thing! I'm no gore hound but give the fans what they want and don't make your movie look like crap!

The Expendables

Stallone has done it again! With ROCKY BALBOA he reminded us why we love the character Rocky. RAMBO gave us a mission we'll never forget and Stallone sent our favorite vet home. Now with THE EXPENDABLES Stallone reminded us of the glory days of 80's action movies. Back in the day if you were fans of these movies you know you had talks with friends about how cool it'd be to see a movie with Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Van Damme, and whoever else all together in the mix! The movie we dreamed about wasn't exactly the movie we got, because in reality that would probably not be as cool as we thought. With THE EXPENDABLES what we have is old fashioned cheesy (in a good way) 80's and early 90's action! This my friends is Tango & Cash not Jason Bourne!

I don't think Stallone could gave gathered a better group of guys. The fact that Jason Statham is in this proves Stallone knows what he is doing. Dolph Lundgren back on the big screen is major too! He's already made his comeback but I still get that welcome back feeling when I see Mickey Rourke on screen! And the scene with the “three” at the church, let's just say it's my favorite non action scene of the film. I sure hope Schwarzenegger comes back to Hollywood when he's done with politics? I can see him make a comeback as a Dirty Harry tough guy type or something! I almost forgot Eric Roberts having an awesome time playing the villain. It's just great casting all around.

The story of THE EXPENDABLES is simple: Group of mercenary's for hire that take on missions the devil himself would pass on are offered a job to take out a dictator and slime ball ex C.I.A agent. Barney and his second in command go and get a lay of the land and decide to pass on the mission but not without having a little fun first. This little “escapade” gets the groups cute informant in trouble. Shortly thereafter Barney decides he's going back to save her. That's all you really need to know at this point.

Sadly this movie may fall victim to being labeled as “dumb macho fun” but truth be told deep within the clunky dialogue the film does have deep character development. Just listen and watch (this is a motion picture and these guys can act) when these men are interacting with each other. It's some of the best performance's we've seen from these guys in awhile. Dolph is especially amazing in this! His DTV (direct to video) work these past few years is pretty good for DTV.

The only thing I had a problem with was how some of the action scenes were edited. The car chase scene was just way too jerky and confusing; however, Jet Li was a bad ass in this scene! I loved the movie but scratch my head at some of the editing of action, especially after what Stallone showed us in RAMBO.

Overall THE EXPENDABLES is one of the best movies I've seen this year!

The A-Team

My favorite of the two big summer movies of last week! As I write this I really want to see it again. A-TEAM has all the fun that a action movie should have. I really don't remember a lot of the t.v show so a few weeks ago a friend of mine refreshed my memory the best he could. He told me it was tough guy smarts mixed with Magnificent Seven attitude helping out people and friends in sticky situations every week. Four soldiers get charged for a crime they did not commit and get sent to jail. They break out of prison and go into hiding in L.A and become soldiers of fortune helping the helpless. The crime that they got set up for was never a pilot episode but rather just the shows introduction every week.
This new movie tells us how these guys became the A-Team. The director Joe(Smokin Ace's) Carnahan really knows his A-Team because right from the start he nails the tone of the series pitch perfect if not better. It's like he's telling us "You remember how fun the A-Team was? Well, get a load of this"! To start off the fun Carnahan introduces us to the future team in the deserts of Mexico in a Sergio Leone fashion, which of course I thought was very cool. What happens next is a very very entertaining strong character driven action movie!

Eight years after a fateful (and explosive) mission in Mexico united four unlikely Army Rangers, The "crack commando unit" led by Colonel Hannibal Smith are stationed in Iraq and sent on a mission by the CIA to go into the heart of Bagdad and retrieve a set of stolen money printing plates that are a threat to national security. Hannibal and his team, comprising of suave con-man "Faceman" Peck, burly B. A Baracus and comically insane "Howling Mad" Murdock, succeed in their mission. Returning to base, something goes wrong. The team in the wrong place at the wrong time, are charged with the famous "a crime they did not commit" from the series, dishonorably discharged and sent to separate prisons. Six months later, Hannibal Smith escapes and breaks his teammates out and start their first mission as the A-Team, to clear their name.


It's a blessing to see a real action director turn what most will pass off as tentpole summer action movie fluff into a bad ass action film with awesome characters! Carnahan knows his craft, all the action beats work and only improves on the fun of the original series.
THE A-TEAM just saved the summer movie season of 2010!

The Karate Kid (2010)

I'll try not to sound like a jaded 33 year old movie fan because I'm sure that's what some of you will think? I am not arguing or saying that the remake of THE KARATE KID is bad, I liked it. It's not better than the original by a long shot. The original ( I really hate people are going to have to start saying that now) was not just a product of it's time but rather a classic movie made in the 80's. I wont go on and on but know this, I love THE KARATE KID (1984). It's the first movie that I wanted to see multiple times at the theater, we taped it on VHS from HBO, and I even watched it on HBO even having it taped on VHS. That VHS was the best; it had THE KARATE KID, THE LAST STARFIGHTER, and THE NEVERENDING STORY. Now that's what I call a triple feature!

Where does THE KARATE KID (2010) fall short? The two things that come to my mind are the acting and emotional development of certain characters. It wont happen but I honestly feel that Will and Jada need to stop putting their son Jaden in movies. This movie is the best work so far but I just don't know if he is going to get better? Some of his lines were cringe worthy and a lot felt like one takes to me. Don't get me wrong, he is not the worst child actor I've ever seen and If I'm wrong then cool, just don't expect him to follow in his dad's footsteps any time soon.

While being two different characters Ralph Macchio's Daniel Larusso is far more interesting and fleshed out more than Jaden Smith's Dre Parker.
The same goes for the Mr. Miyagi / Mr. Han characters. Jackie Chan is the perfect choice to play Mr. Han who teaches Dre kung-fu, but that's all it is a great casting choice. Pat Morita's Mr. Miyagi was so much more, it's no wonder that Mr. Morita got nominated for an Oscar for the role. When the dynamics of these two characters start to take off it just falls short of the relationship that Daniel and Miyagi had. These two ended up best friends even on a sort of father and son level. In the new movie Mr. Han is just some guy teaching Dre kung-fu.


The film makers had plenty of chances to work on this but instead focused on a sub-plot dealing with a girls violin recital. More time could have been devoted to training for the tournament. In fact, a lot more time could have been devoted to training for the tournament. Nothing ever topped the jacket on, jacket off lesson. The best training moments were few and far between plus highlighted only in montages it seemed.

Okay so what did I like? The kung fu. As much as I like Daniel it's no contest that Dre would kick his butt. The fights and fighting style are better in this new film. The story taking place in China was a nice touch.

In closing it was entertaining and better that I thought it would be not by no means is it a classic nor will it ever be one.

IRON MAN 2

I knew that IRON MAN 2 was going to be good if not great but this movie superseded all my expectations. Plus there was only two AC/DC songs which was a good thing, I was worried every song in the movie was going to be from the bad boys from down under. So many good things to say that I don't know where to begin? First let me say that MARVEL STUDIOS is quickly becoming the studio for comic book movies. I've been very impressed with what they have done so far that I believe THOR, CAPTAIN AMERICA, and THE AVENGERS will be just as good as the Iron Man movies, oh and that new Hulk one as well.

IRON MAN is one of my top five comic book movies and it's sequel is as well. Back in the day when I read comics Iron Man wasn't one of the titles I read. I knew about him and liked the character it's just that I didn't read the series. I am more of a fan of the films.

The first thing that makes these movies great is Robert Downey Jr. (let's stop referring him as RDJ please). I don't know nor care how Tony Stark is like in the comics, I like the character Downey Jr. has created. The second thing is small but I just think that it's super cool and that is the Marvel Universe continuity. Once all the other movies I've mentioned come out it will be all that much cooler. Lastly everything else falls into place nicely; humor, great comic book action, the suits, and of course special effects.

There is a lot to explain but I don't want to ruin anything so my explanation will be brief. It's been six months since the events of the first film and Tony has proclaimed world peace but the U.S government thinks otherwise and wants Mr. Stark to hand over the Iron Man or “weapon” as they like to call it. Tony won't give them the pleasure so to make matters worse Justin Hammer of Hammer Industries helps the government by applying more pressure. To make matters worse a mean Russian bad ass engineer that has a grudge on the Stark family creates a suit using similar technology from Stark Industries and makes some wicked looking electrical whips. I know you may be thinking but these whips are awesome! To make matters worse Tony is dying. A element that is keeping him alive is also making him deathly sick. He doesn't have much time left. The short of it is Justin Hammer hires the Russian Whiplash to make him an army of Iron Men that would put Stark out of business. During which Whiplash is planning his own revenge. War Machine is born ( I smell a spin off). Nick Furry and Black Widow tell Tony more about the Avengers. I think I told you enough without giving to much away.

What makes this movie great is everything that made the first one awesome but just multiply that and you get IRON MAN 2. More action, more laughs, War Machine, did I mention more laughs, and the new Iron Man suit at the end is killer! Start the summer of right and see this movie!

Rolling Thunder (1977)

It is such a great feeling when you finally see a movie that you have been waiting to see for years pays off when you see it. ROLLING THUNDER is that kind of movie. Quentin Tarantino who is one of my favorite directors working today loves this movie so for years I have tried to track it down but the thing is it's not on DVD. After years of waiting I became convinced that the movie was just going to become that sort of film that's really cool and if you missed out you just plain missed out. Well my friends I finally got to see the movie I only dreamed about seeing. No it didn't finally get released on DVD which I hope someday it will? A friend of mine who apparently wanted to see it more than I did ,went ahead a bought a bootleg DVD version of it. I was almost afraid to watch it because I didn't want to jinx the idea that ROLLING THUNDER is the coolest movie that I'll never see. Did the movie and my watching experience play out 100% like I thought it would? No, but man this movie is cool!

Major Charles Rane comes back from the war and is given a number of gifts from his hometown because he is a war hero. Some greedy thugs decide that they want to steal a number of silver dollars from him. In the process they also manage to kill his wife and son and destroy his hand. The Major wants revenge so he enlists the help of his war buddy Johnny to meet the thugs in a final showdown.
This history of this movie hails it as a 70's gritty exploitation B-movie which very well may be true but in my opinion it has the heart and soul of an A list movie. That maybe why it's a cult classic?
I urge people to see it, so I'm not going to give much away. The things I love most about ROLLING THUNDER are the interesting characters and how the movie builds up to the moments of revenge. When it gets to the final showdown you know without a shadow of doubt that Major Charles Rane and his war buddy Johnny are going to show these low life greedy thugs just exactly who they are dealing with. At all costs please see this movie! Enjoy!

The Wolfman (2010)

These kind of reviews are the hardest when you have mixed feelings of the movie you just watched. Was THE WOLFMAN the movie I saw last night the film I was expecting to see since it's production began in I believe 2007? I'm leaning toward no. Did I hate the movie I saw last night? Only in regards to that the movie seemed to have a lot of stuff cut out of it. I'm not talking about gore or anything like that, I am talking about that it just seems a lot of content was trimmed down, way down. This could have been the result of a studio taking to much control and the fact the film started with one director and ended with another. The short version of that story is the first director left due to “budget” reasons so the studio hired someone else but this director didn't quite have the same vision of what the first director intended the film to be. You can learn more about this on the Internet I'm sure, the bottom line is that THE WOLFMAN film was a end result of too many cooks in the kitchen. I should give Universal Pictures the benefit of doubt but I won't, they are to blame on this one.

Since the 90's Hollywood has been revamping the Movie Monsters and so far only a few times has it worked. DRACULA (92) directed by Francis Ford Coppola worked for me but FRANKENSTEIN (94) directed by Kenneth Branagh was a disaster. I have not seen WOLF(94) but I've heard that I really don't need to. In 1999 THE MUMMY was a good fun Universal Movie Monster adventure but the squeals ended that ride real quick. Then the ultimate was set to be unleashed with VAN HELSING (04) but what we got was with this film was a director who was like a kid with A.D.D in a candy store. In 2007 we were to get THE WOLFMAN but conflicts got in the way and the end result was what came out last night. THE WOLFMAN indeed has some problems but I really like it for the fact that it's scary and yes bloody. It is light years away from VAN HELSING and thats a great thing.

Lawrence returns home after receiving a letter that his brother is missing. When he gets home it is discovered that his brother was slain by some beast believed to be a bear. Some locals are convinced that the wild beast was a bear but some believe that the attack was done by something else, something like a wolf man. During a night of trying to hunt and kill whatever killed his brother Lawrence gets bitten by the beast itself. Thus begins the dark transformation of Lawrence but what will drive him to the point of insanity first, his estranged relationship with his father, or the curse of the Lycan?

As weak of a film THE WOLFMAN is I will say it does deliver on what a fan would want, gore, blood,atmosphere, and great looking werewolf wolf man. If your a die hard fan take in a afternoon theater matinée and skip the full price. Enjoy!

--Caleb

The Lovely Bones

My thoughts are very conflicted with Peter Jackson’s (The Lord of the Rings) new movie THE LOVELY BONES. I love everything about the movie except for some key elements of the story. The film had my full attention all the way leading to the murder of the main character. After that THE LOVELY BONES started to loose steam fast. It started to become something like WHAT DREAMS MAY COME but way more entertaining. This may just be some nitpicking because the movie is indeed well made but I just got tired of the story and some of the acting. The main characters voice over throughout the movie started to get on my nerves with her wispy sounding voice. The film’s version of Heaven or I should say The In-Between got to be a little too “Lovely” for me. Susan Sarandon bugged me too. Like I said, nitpicking.

Don’t worry I didn’t ruin the movie telling you that the main character gets murdered because THE LOVELY BONES is about a young woman who gets murdered on her way home from school. Based on the best selling book by Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones is the story of a 14-year-old girl from suburban Pennsylvania who is murdered by her neighbor. She tells the story from Heaven, showing the lives of the people around her and how they have changed all while attempting to get someone to find her lost body.

I felt the message of the movie was more about moving on in life, in the real world and the afterlife but less about finding the killer. It’s a good story only it’s one that I started to care less and less about. The good things are many with good direction by Peter Jackson, great cinematography (the 70’s are recreated masterfully), and an above and beyond performance from Stanley Tucci as the killer neighbor George Harvey. I think a lot of people that see this movie will not believe the range that Mr. Tucci has as an actor especially with previous roles in movies like THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA and JULIE & JULIA.

My final thoughts on THE LOVELY BONES is that while I did not like the story as much as I wanted to (and I really tried), the end product is still a good movie and Peter Jackson is still a great filmmaker.

Up In The Air

Not the feel good movie of the Christmas (that's right I said Christmas not Holiday) season, but UP IN THE AIR is a good one. It's not the best film of the year by any means and I honestly believe that the critics say UP IN THE AIR is the best is because they don't like it when genre films are the bread winner of 2009. George Clooney is cool. Men want to be him and women want to...date him. Clooney is 100% in this movie. He plays Ryan Bingham a corporate headhunter who's job is his life. Home for him is traveling, connections at airports, and executive status at the Hilton. He has a number in mind for frequent flyer miles only he hasn't hit it yet. Set in his ways Ryan's life is threatened when his company brings him home and “grounds” him. His company now fires people over the Internet. Unhappy with this Bingham proves to his boss that the new system is flawed. With success Ryan's boss puts him back in the air but with one condition, he takes the young woman that helped create new Internet job firing tool with him to show her the ropes in the real world. Along the way Ryan meets a woman who's business also includes a lot of flying. Will Ryan finally “connect” with someone besides his job?
Director Jason Reitman (Thank You For Smoking, Juno) does a really good job at keeping George Clooney and the story around his character interesting. A lot of people left the theater not liking the ending but I thought it ended the only way it could end. The only thing this movie should get is a Oscar nomination for Clooney basically playing a character loosely based on himself which is a hard thing to pull off, just ask Mike Tyson for when he was in THE HANGOVER.

I give UP IN THE AIR a very high C+

~Caleb

Avatar

This particular review has taken me several hours to even start writing because I am still pondering what I saw at 12:00am this morning? Leaving the theater I felt awe struck and let down at the same time. My biggest problem with the film I will get out of the way and that's the fact that the movie is long. When I see this again very soon my problem with the length very well may go away because it wont be 3:00am.

AVATAR has been a film seven plus years in the making and in a lot of movie geeks opinions the movie to end all movies. The director of AVATAR James Cameron is one of the greatest filmmakers of our time and I consider myself a fan of his work. What I am not a fan of our some of his fans who think he is the god of action/science fiction film making. Come on guys ALIENS and T2: JUDGEMENT DAY were forever ago, its time to move forward and thats what Cameron has done with AVATAR. I am not going to bore you with how one can make the observation that AVATAR could be DANCES WITH WOLVES in space. The Internet is already filled with that stuff like that. Yes, the story going on in AVATAR has been done over and over again but you have never seen it told like this.

In the future Earth is out of resources and finds what they are looking for in deep space on a moon called Pandora. Jake which is a paraplegic war vet takes the place of his late twin brother on a project to learn about the moon's indigenous humanoid race called the Na'vi and this is achieved by a taking on a “avatar”identity. A “avatar” is more or less a incarnation of a hybrid Na'vi and earthling humanoid.
In Jake's “avatar form he is sent to get to know the culture of the Na'vi and tell them to move away from their home so the corporation he works for can mine and bulldoze for Pandora's rich and wonderful resource. Jake falls in love with the culture and race of Pandora so naturally he joins forces with them to protect what the Na'vi call home.

I got really bored with this part of the story because these moments just seemed to drag out forever. With that being said, what makes me really like this movie a lot is how the groundbreaking 3D and motion capture effects made Pandora come alive. This has to be seen to be believed and you just have to trust me on this because trying to explain what I saw on screen would just come across as rambling.

Blockbuster or flop one thing is for certain AVATAR has set the standard for 3D special effects film making.

B+

Black Dynamite

A movie like BLACK DYNAMITE is one I almost took a pass on, because with an idea of a film that is a blaxploitation homage, it has the chance to have a million things wrong with it. The trailers I had seen made the movie out to be awesome but jokey and spoofy as well. I didn't think Hollywood needed nor did I want to see another I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA. Well I am glad to say that BLACK DYNAMITE is more of a true homage than a spoof. The movie does have a lot of funny moments that may very well be spoofy but at the same time it's bad @$$ cinema, which I'M GONNA GIT YOU SUCKA was not.

To understand where a movie like BLACK DYNAMITE is coming from you first have to understand the films that stared the likes of Fred Williamson, Jim Kelly, and Pam Greir.




BLACK DYNAMITE is the story of 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite. The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House.

The thing that I love most about BLACK DYNAMITE is that it's well crafted and thought out and shows a great attention to detail. On the website www.moxiecinema.com I read that the movie itself is meant to have this long lost gem of a film quality, and it does I'm happy to report!

It gets a little too silly at the end but for the most part BLACK DYNAMITE should be the best time you had at the theater in a long time.

It's a high C+ from me, enjoy!

-Caleb

The Proposal

When a high-powered book editor faces deportation to her native Canada, the quick-thinking exec declares that she's actually engaged to her unsuspecting put-upon assistant, who she's tormented for years. He agrees to participate in the charade but he has a few demands of his own. The unlikely couple heads to Alaska to meet his quirky family. With an impromptu wedding in the works and an immigration official on their tails, Margaret and Andrew reluctantly vow to stick to the plan despite the precarious consequences.

THE PROPOSAL was not as bad as I was expecting it to be. I began watching with very low expectations only to find out that I was enjoying the flick. Sadly, Sandra Bullock's character is not the one that makes this film work. She does however play a very convincing witch. I believe this type of character is a first for her which was cool to see, but IMHO even though these types of movies are her bread and butter it's time to see Sandra do something else. What makes THE PROPOSAL work is the comedic talent of Ryan Reynolds and Bettie White. Ryan is already a established movie star and films that make quick and easy millions like THE PROPOSAL will only help him to become a mega movie star, which is a good thing.

Not much else to say about this sub standard romantic comedy except that I did happen to like the role reversal between the two leads, it's subtle but watch for it. The small cameo role of the jack-of-all-trades of the small town played by Oscar from the television show THE OFFICE is priceless.

THE PROPOSAL gets a C-, Enjoy!

Caleb

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

If most of you do not know already, which I think the majority of my readers do, is that I am a huge Quentin Tarantino fan. PULP FICTION was the film that was a breath of fresh air to me and most if not all of America. It was not until his KILL BILL movies that I became the Tarantino fan that I am today.

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS is the Tarantino WWII film I have been waiting for almost over 5 years. He has had this movie in his head for 10 years. It has taken so long because he had just kept writing and writing to where eventually it became almost like a novel.

With me being a huge fan of Quentin's work it would come off as sounding very elitist of me when I say that INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS is the masterpiece of Quentin Tarantino. In my honest opinion this new movie is his masterpiece; however, this is not the Tarantino WWII I expected or wanted to see. I was expecting to witness a balls to the wall World War II Men on a Mission DIRTY DOZEN film done Tarantino style. This movie is not that. Quentin definitely threw his hat into the ring of the WWII sub genre, but INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS turned out be oh such more. What most people misunderstand is that Quentin's filmmaking is more reinventing than paying homage. INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS is the re-imagining of how World War II did indeed end.

Once upon a time in Nazi occupied France... a young Jewish refugee Shosanna witnesses the slaughter of her family by the "Jew Hunter" Colonel Hans Landa. Narrowly escaping with her life, she plots her revenge several years later when German war hero takes an interest in her and arranges a movie premiere at the theater she now runs. With the promise of every major Nazi officer in attendance, the event catches the attention of the "Basterds", a group of Jewish-American guerrilla soldiers led by the ruthless Lt. Aldo Raine. As the plans are set in motion, their paths will cross for a fateful evening that will shake the very annals of history. I really want to tell you how Shosanna, Aldo and the rest of the "Bastards" end WWII but you really must see for yourself. How they stop the war? So are you telling us that this is a fantasy? No, it's more like if these men, these "Bastards" were really in the big one, then this is how WWII would have ended.

While not being the Men on a Mission movie that I was hoping, I still love this film LOVE it. After seeing it twice I like everything about it every shot, every scene, every performance, and every bit of music. I love it. Tarantino has created a WWII universe that we only get to see glimpses of. A sequel or something like the BAND OF BROTHERS mini-series would be awesome. I am satisfied but also longing for more. Please Mr. Tarantino let this be not the end to your wonderfully crafted WWII universe, please?

INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS gets an A-

~Caleb

District 9

Okay so I lied, sue me. The week I thought about quiting must have been a bad one for me. You still may not hear from me much on here but that's okay because I don't think that many people still read this blog much anymore. Friday morning @ 12:01am I had the privilege to see one of the best most important science fiction films since who knows when, maybe THE MATRIX. What about the movie MOON Caleb, as some of you may be wondering? MOON was awesome and one of the coolest films of 2009 but found it just did not move me like District 9 did.

This film like every film ever made will have have it's lovers and haters. I only state this because with this film it will happen, sadly. All reviews of art be it amature or professional is subjective, but haters be wrong because this movie is just too cool. I really hope that DISTRICT 9 does more than just find it's target audience during the film's theatrical run. Moviegoers who know what DISTRICT 9 is beyond just the trailers, will more than likely end up loving the movie just like they thought they would. Others may cry bologna sauce and outrage over the mockumentary first 15 minutes and utter lack of Hollywood star power. Most just want that double cheeseburger from MacDonald's and for Will Smith to welcome the alien invaders with a "Hell No" and a punch to the face. Moving on, enough with the soap box jazz.

Years ago, aliens made first contact with Earth. Humans waited for the hostile attack, or the giant advances in technology. Nothing happened. It turns out that the aliens were refugees. The creatures, which are called Prawns because of their crustatious like features, were set up in a makeshift home in South Africa's District 9 as the world's nations argued over what to do with them. Now, patience over the alien situation has run out. The tension between the aliens and the humans comes to a head when MNU field operatives come into District 9 to move the aliens into a more controlled environment like a concentration camp. Wikus van der Merwe , a MNU worker contracts a mysterious virus that begins changing his DNA. Wikus quickly becomes the most hunted man in the world, as well as the most valuable. Ostracized and friendless, there is only one place left for him to hide, District 9.

The trailers and website can set you up for what you want to happen next, human verses alien carnage. You will have no idea what is in store for you, no idea. The action in this film is wild and the alien weapon technology is bugnuts crazy! Bolts of energy that blows people, aliens, and other stuff up. Some moments are like something out of the video game Halo, but this is no video game.

If the awesome action does not grab you then the unapologetic social commentary might. The reactions from this aspect of the film will be just as brutal as some of the films most gory of moments.



DISTRICT 9 is a smart genre film that will be talked about and picked apart for years. It will be if not already a science fiction classic.

It is a strong A+ for DISTRICT 9! Enjoy!!!!

~Caleb

G.I. JOE: The Rise of Cobra

From the very first trailer this movie looked all shades of bad. Hollywood has tried this formula before with the '90's STREET FIGHTER and MORTAL KOMBAT movies and we all know how thoes pieces of crap turned out. The fact that a G.I. JOE movie was going to be helmed by the guy responsible for VAN HELSING wasn't very promising to me to say the least. I just felt this movie was doomed from the very start.

Would it be fair of me to say that G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA is a good movie or one of the best of the summer? No it would not because quite honestly it is not. What the movie is I can honestly say is a honest to goodness; bad to the bone Saturday morning sugar coated crazy G.I.JOE movie. This film is 100% G.I. JOE!

Purists will scoff at a lot of what the movie did not translate from the cartoon or the comics, but all of that can be forgiven in my opinion because what the filmmakers did do right was capture the essence of what playing with the toys or the cartoon was about and that is FUN. I have only one big flaw with the film and that is the stupid slow motion action. I am fine with a slow motion punch, kick, and even the occasional gun blast. What I am not okay with is when this over used special effect is used for stupid stuff like A JET DODGING A MISSILE OR BLAST OF SOME KIND! This happened in the movie way too much.

What I love most about this film is that it's JOE'S fighting COBRA. The movie does have a weak but not too dumb back story for some of our favorite characters to create some drama to carry the action along. Unlike that other 80's toy and cartoon movie that is more about a boy and his robot changing car.

So if you were a kid growing up in the late seventies and early eighties and watching Saturday morning cartoons was your thing, then you should love G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA! B+ Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Caleb